Apocalypse recipe: One year of sustenance

My longtime friend, the esteemed writer Ian Williams, lives in New York City. When the 9/11 horribility hit, Ian and his wife and sister were some of the people who actually ran towards the towers as they fell — not literally, but almost — and they stepped up during the tragedy to … well, to do a lot of things, but basically to facilitate the emergency workers’ ability to do their jobs in the first days. Cajoling gourmet food from restaurants, finding clean bottled water, helping lost children find their parents, passing out clean T-shirts in rainstorms to people covered in dead-body dust, what have you.

Yeah. Gnarly, as they say here in California.

Burning Man toiletries and sundries: A list for the desert

But first, an anecdote: Trolling the Mission for dust-proof sunglass-goggles that don’t make me look like a bug-eyed raver — WHY DON’T THEY SELL THOSE? ANYONE? — I passed a thrift store that shall remain nameless which sported a window display captioned BURNING ANGELS.

This display consisted of wire-and-pantyhose “angel wings” — you know, the kind that pokes your eye out in crowded domes when drugged-out giggle-chicks are dancing to the UNCE UNCE UNCE — “angel wings” festooned with chicken feathers and loose glitter.

CHICKEN FEATHERS AND LOOSE GLITTER. (cue guttural DPW growl)

Burning Man: Five tricks for the desert

My friend Kellie has been hassling me (just kidding Kellie) about sharing some of my tried-and-true desert-rat information with her and her newbie friends via my blog before they go out there to Burning Man for the first time. So as a ten-year veteran of the DPW who’s lived out there in the Black Rock Desert each year for 2 weeks to 2 months at a time, I’ve boiled down my checklist — for this or any other summertime festival — to a few simple tricks, so while I’m busy getting myself and others ready, I’ll share my five favorite non-dying-of-heatstroke-and-dehydration tricks with yall.

Starter kit for the Apocalypse

June 22, 007
SF

Sitting around talking about the Apocalypse, as we do, I once told Otto about my ongoing fantasy of packing a basic survival kit. Why have I not done that yet?, I asked. I can quote lines from Mad Max 2 and Tank Girl like any good DPW woman can, but for some reason I have not yet taken the first step at home to ensure my own survival (except the knowing-my-firearms part).

my little ponys. i pick the muscular Conan-looking one

It’s easy, Otto said — go get a camping backpack or a rolling airplane pilot’s suitcase from the thrift store, and just throw all this stuff in there and you’re basically good to go. And I got out a pen and paper and he rattled off this list to me.