MAN DOWN
March 6, 008
Black Rockalypse
We have a seriously injured party.
Dragnet is down. Conscious, breathing, fading. We tried to fix him, but we can’t.
What started out as a .22 bullet wound to the collarbone-area has turned septic, to a life-threatening degree. There is no way we can take care of him here. We don’t have the medical equipment and we don’t have any “actual” surgical doctors, only a military nurse and two EMTs. Our antibiotics are running low and we’ve got a couple babies about to be born, so we can’t use them all.
We have to send him out.
Please meet us at the 12-mile entrance to the Black Rock Desert, one mile in from the highway, one hour after the sun comes up tomorrow morning.
This is the first transmission where I actually inform people there’s something going on — can you imagine the arguing-under-pressure meeting it took to allow me to get this post out? — and we’re all nervous about it, considering. All watchers along the 447, please create a human-shield line against the goons and their trucks, like you did last time, if you’re brave enough.
Nobody wants a Waco-type situation. We’re not in a cult. There’s no NAMBLA action here under the Not-Dome; no meth lab. We were BROUGHT here, and we’re not stockpiling anything bad, and we’re not a threat to anyone. In fact we haven’t been doing much of anything for the past couple months, as everyone’s been sick because of the random way the secret-powers-that-be keep poisoning us.
a slightly preferable scenario
We’re quite aware this is the great state of Nevada, where even babies carry shotguns — so if it seems like the Men in Black are going to fire in or around the direction of where a Not-Suit might be, you already know what happens. Don’t fire back at them. You’ve been warned.
On the other hand, if the intrepid patriot helpers in the other dimension might happen to designate a prankster to figure out how to disable the goons’ killing machines and deflate the tires of the Jeeps carrying the men firing on us, then we can’t stop them.
DO NOT shoot at helicopters. Do not kill anyone. Even if they try to kill people, don’t fire back. You never know where a Not-Suit might be. Yeah, I realize what this means, along with the cold and the snow and the miserably unfortunate deaths last time: it might be a thin crowd out there. Really, that’s your choice. But at least, send a Life Flight helicopter from Reno. We’re sort of begging you. We love Dragnet. Everyone loves Dragnet. There should still be a Dragnet in the world.
What we really want is for enough news crews to attend the meeting so everyone will play nice.
Our friend is dying.
Did you hear that, Not-Us? GODDAMMIT DID YOU. WHERE ARE YOU.
One hour after the sun comes over the mountain tomorrow morning. One hour exactly. Please send the Life Flight, and have it land on the gravel at the 12-mile exit. We will bring Dragnet out to you.
