June 22, 007
SF
Sitting around talking about the Apocalypse, as we do, I once told Otto about my ongoing fantasy of packing a basic survival kit. Why have I not done that yet?, I asked. I can quote lines from Mad Max 2 and Tank Girl like any good DPW woman can, but for some reason I have not yet taken the first step at home to ensure my own survival (except the knowing-my-firearms part).
my little ponys. i pick the muscular Conan-looking one
It’s easy, Otto said — go get a camping backpack or a rolling airplane pilot’s suitcase from the thrift store, and just throw all this stuff in there and you’re basically good to go. And I got out a pen and paper and he rattled off this list to me.
He says, above all, travel light, and make sure you’re in good enough shape to walk 10 miles each day, and that you know even just a little bit about weapons. But failing that, if you’re an Indoor Kid and you meet a Karate Kid out on the move, you’d better have your gear together enough so you can trade a fresh cup of coffee for some ass-kicking backup.
So here’s Otto’s cursory list for initial survival:
——
Water and electrolytes, salt
Tea — not just for calories and minerals but for staying awake. Coffee has fewer minerals etc., so tea is better, but if you’re an addict pack some pre-packaged grounds, too
Food — Avoid dehydrated food like MREs or dried fruit because you have to add water, so if you eat it it will dehydrate you, especially if you’re in a situation where you can’t add water because a nuclear weapon has gone off. Canned foods and preserved jar foods are your best bet, and salted nuts in sealed bags (airplane nuts, not pretzels)
Mirror, for reflective surface to signal — the international SOS signal is three flashes or three fires, and this is one situation where it’s OK to build smoky fires
Knives, ax, scissors, razor blades, Leatherman (or similar multi-tool), hammer, a handful of nails (taped together so they don’t go everywhere)
Sharpening steel and flint (very very important to start fires) — hard rock and water will sharpen knives also
First aid kit
Gun and ammo (no speeches please — like Steven Colbert said, the 2nd amendment is there because it has the 1st amendment’s back)
Tent and Gore-Tex sleeping bag
Multifaceted work gloves (weather, climbing)
Bear spray or mace
Single propane stove item and iron skillet (doubles as a weapon)
Metal cup, utensils, cheesecloth or screen for straining water
Candles, matches in a waterproof case
Flashlight and batteries — batteries stored separately in case of nuclear attack or electro-magnetic pulse
At least 100 feet of thin high-tensile nylon or hemp rope — no big stuff
Fishing net
Hand-cranked radio
Rain poncho — also useful to collect water / morning dew — or heavy trash bags or tarp alternately
Sewing kit (including leather awl and thimble), leather and denim scraps for patching
A few pairs of socks (and if you’re female, contrary to what they tell you in the movies, be sure you don’t try to negotiate the Apocalypse in 5” stilettos)
Meds for your particular conditions, and any warning bracelets you should put on immediately
Compass, grid map of the local area, angle protractor (the round one, not the circle-drawing one) and grease pencil
Conversion charts, weather stuff, prevailing winds, almanac stuff
And of course a diary and pen; and some large paper and a Sharpie and tape, in case your band or circus plays somewhere after the shit hits the fan and you need to flyer.
the other three horsemen are teething, and they’re pissed
Also, did you know you can survive 21 days on just water alone? That’s what Otto says. If you can make tree bark tea, you got about 6 months. If it’s got chunky hard bark (pine and maple), it’s good, but strip bark (eucalyptus, birch) is bad. Boil it well to make sure you have enough nutrients to get you by.
Sometime next week, I’ll publish the recipe for SamX’s “Hobo Crack Tea” — made exclusively of herbs and tree bark — so you can put some o’ that in your pack too and live like a fancy hippie Marine …
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while i know this post is about two years old now, it’s on the fist page of google responses to “survival apocalypse” so I would like to point out a few major flaws here.
First, to much weight will kill your ability to move through rough terrain, slow you down, and cause a massive amount of pain. A small tarp or tube tent takes up MUCH less space than a normal tent, less weight, too.
a hatchet, AND a hammer is overkill. a good medium camp ax/survival hatchet is a must. But it’s a multi-use tool if you know how to use it right.
Cast iron is both heavy overkill, and comparatively fragile. You see it used as a weapon from time to time…sure. But a small steel pot weighs less, can be used for far more cooking tasks than a skillet, AND you can store food in it without oxidization. Get one with a lid you can strap/tape securely.
On the subject of food. MRE’s do NOT require the addition of water. Whoever told you they do has never eaten one. That said I would not recommend them for the emergency stash. again, bulk. Nutrition bars to get you by, preferably ones sold in bulk packs, not individually wrapped items such as power bars. Further, any food stores should be carefully watched and consumed and replaced near the end of their shelf life.
Medications are a good idea, but they also have a relatively short shelf life. Pay ATTENTION.
Also consider a wind up flashlight instead of a battery powered unit. Not having to worry about power for light will save you a lot of stress.
Thanks, drackar! Yr right about some o’ dis. However, to clarify, what I meant about the MREs was that you need water to digest food, not that you need to add water to MREs to make them edible … so it’s best not to eat dehydrated foods when you have no water supply. Also my mom bought me a wind-up flashlight for Christmas and it broke almost right away. So batteries for your flashlight might explode, but wind-up flashlights might break immediately,and one can carry extra batteries, but that makes the pack heavy, so make your own call. Other than that, spot on! Scratch the skillet, hammer, and unwieldy gypsy tent and listen to Drackar. Hey, I’m still learning…